"You don’t test a gentle person the way that you don’t steep tea for too long. Submerge me and I will imbue, and what was sweet will be bitter. I will be strong on your tongue and unpleasant to the taste, and you’ll regret drowning me in your guile.
"Twelve years ago, at the age of six, I was diagnosed. It was a rough start, but eventually I got the hang of it- perfect A1C’s, always checked and logged my numbers, never missed injections. My endo would constantly tell me that I was a model juvenile diabetic. And I was so proud of myself for handling my disease as well as I had been. But now that I’m getting older, I’m getting lazy. I constantly forget to check, I don’t record any of my numbers, my A1C’s have gradually gotten worse. It’s almost as if all motivation to keep myself healthy has gone down the drain. I want to be better, but I can’t bring myself to do so. It’s like I just don’t give a shit anymore. And I’m so terrified for the future, because I know that only I can control my disease. If I go blind in ten, fifteen, twenty years- it’s my fault. If my kidneys eventually fail, it’s my fault. I feel like I’m a bomb just waiting to be set off. I’m so fucking done."
"Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now."